last exit for the lost

Amidst my own trials and tribulations, the past couple of weeks have brought the trials of sickness and death upon my family. As with all such trials there may be a wealth of knowledge and experience to be gained. The most recent of these ordeals is the death of my grandfather, who would have turned 80 in a couple of months and was my last living grandparent. Though this topic alone could become the subject of a lengthy discourse, I will spare you for the moment from my musings on mortality. The other recent plight concerns my grandfather's son, my father. Over the past several years, my father has begun to experience some of the long term complications of Type 1 diabetes, including: peripheral neuropathy, ischemic heart disease, peripheral vascular disease, and kidney failure. Well, a couple of weeks ago he went into the hospital due to complete left-sided heart failure. And the part of his heart that was still functioning was only at 20%. He was then referred to nationally renowned cardiovascular surgeon Dr. Slaughter. Yes. That's right. Dr. Mark Slaughter. The doctor informed my father that due to his other complications he was not eligible to be a candidate for heart transplant. He also told him that left untreated, his heart (which by this point was functioning at less than 10%) would fail completely within a matter of weeks. Dr. Slaughter did, however, present another option. Apparently my father qualified to participate in a clinical trial of Thoratec Corporation's HeartMate II Left Ventricular Assist System. What makes this different from other Left Ventricular Assist Devices (LVAD) is that that LVADs are typically used in "bridge to transplant" therapies. That is, they are used as a temporary measure while the patient awaits a heart transplant. The HeartMate, however, is also used as a "bridge to destination" therapy (destination seems to be a nice way of saying "death"). While the original HeartMate is FDA approved and appears to be quite successful, is a rather bulky unit that must be implanted and apparently it is noisy as well. The HeartMate II, however, is 60% smaller, is silent, and has only one moving part: a small spinning rotor to pump the blood. It is able to pump 10 litres of blood per minute and should have a life of about 5 years, compared to the original HeartMate which must be replaced after about 18 months. Thoratec is also currently preparing the HeartMate III for clinical trial, which promises 12 litre per minute circulation as well as a frictionless rotor that is magnetically suspended as opposed to the current models which utilize ball bearings. Needless to say, my father opted to participate in the study. Given the alternitive, though, it mustn't have been a difficult choice. He was particulary fortunate in that his heart was actually degenerating much more rapidly than the good Dr. Slaughter had even anticipated. By the time he was on the operating table, the functionality of his heart had decreased to about 2%. Had he not had the operation his heart would have failed completely in a matter of hours, not weeks. I am pleased to say that after being out of the hospital for only a few days, he is completely mobile. The doctor even told him that after his surgery wounds heal, he will be able to return to his favorite sport (as well as the favorite sport of my late grandfather): Trapshooting. At times like these one might expect me to be writing about the emotional experiences of family trauma. And perhaps in the future, when this has become a "thing of the past" I will be able to share my thoughts, experiences, and insights. But now is not the time for that. Right now I am still in the process of the "experiencing". I think that being able to focus on some of the more mudane aspects, though, can be therapeutic while in the midst of the occasions.